I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
