Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
