Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
