New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
