how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
