if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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