Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
