I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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