going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
