she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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