You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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