bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
