My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
you never un-have a 4some
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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