There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
