i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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