My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
