He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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