if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
