Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
