i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
