you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
