i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize