roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
