My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize