I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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