just tell him i said nine months
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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