And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
