Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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