omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think I am morally bankrupt
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize