yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we made out on top of his cat.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
