I think my vagina is haunted
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
