Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
this boner is exhausting
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
