just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
...so i touched it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My balls are so social today.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
