Ketchup is God's man juice
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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