"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
