you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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