$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
