I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
we should paint friendship bongs
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
