is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
