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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background

  (443): View more from Maryland

  that only happened once.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis

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• (214): View more from Texas

  he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Nevermind. Totally worth it.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.

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• (646): View more from New York

  i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.

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• (310): View more from California

  But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."

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