I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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