God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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