So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
