Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
