she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
