It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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