So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
