i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
