i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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