Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I think winning the long island race means you lose at life

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.

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(904): View more from Florida

the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless

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(407): View more from Florida

It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.

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(407): View more from Florida

You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.

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(815): View more from Illinois

You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.

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