I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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