Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
