I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
