fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
