how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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