it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
