You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
