the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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