Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
