end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
