I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i've created a new STD.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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