yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
