i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
