i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
