Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
