Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
