sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
